OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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