# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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