12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
