i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
where am i from again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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