I wish I could punch you in the face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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