it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
