I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
