stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize