I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
