haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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