If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
