11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
