dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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