So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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