Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
