I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
