in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize