Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
