im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
barbara walters just said penis...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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