I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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