oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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