I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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