Tell her she can't have a vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
