she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
