Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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