Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
