Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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