So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You were trust falling into bushes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
