hotel room ftw
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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