Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
