so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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