I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
