Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
