Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
