You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize