Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
