My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
