I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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