It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Randomize
