at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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