mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
