Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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