he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I love you. Go after that dick
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