UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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