My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
