I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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