That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize