I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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