the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
