his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
