It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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