I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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