I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Randomize
