OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i would punch a child for taco bell
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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