i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
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too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes