I heard we made out
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"