Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...