I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait