'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
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we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought