i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it