I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
