I wish i was in the wii world.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize