I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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